How to choose your friends?
If you are over 25 years of age, you must have made some friends in your life. Most of the time, we don’t consciously choose our friends but it happens by instinct, intuition, serendipity, sub-consciously, or even randomly.
But what if we designed our lives consciously, and chose our friends based on certain qualities. Would we be happier?
Let’s categorize the kind of buddies we make. These are my categories, I’m sure other people might have more or different ones.
#1 Friends for pleasure
These are people that we meet along the way. They are fun, entertaining, and we hang out with them just for pleasure nothing else.
#2 Hobby buddy
These are friends we share a hobby with. It could be sports, work outs, gym, pottery, cooking etc.
#3 Friends for a benefit
They benefit you in some way. They let you use their apartment, house, help you get ahead in business, life, or career.
#4 Business or work colleagues
A lot of people make friends with their colleagues from work, or their business relationships extend towards friendship. My dad made friends mostly with people who he did business with.
#5 Family friends
These are friends of your family, and they are more like an extended family.
#6 Someone to fulfill your emotional needs
Many of us need someone to talk to, rely on, tell them our deepest desires and fears, or just share our thoughts.
#7 Friends with benefits
If you are single, or even in a committed relationship (that has lost its fizz), you have some physical needs to be fulfilled, this is your late night or mid afternoon booty call.
#8 Toxic Acquaintances
These are friends that bring out the worst in you. They are often judgmental, put you down, make you feel like shit, use you, and drain you out mentally and emotionally.
#9 The ideal friend
These are mates that enhance you spiritually, mentally, emotionally, physically, and are always there for you (at least sometimes, remember they have their own battles to fight. So let’s be practical).
#10 The ungrateful friend
These are people who are always calling in favors, using you, but not even sending you a message of thanks.
When you do a favor to somebody, all that person expects is a thank you, nothing more. This is something I try to keep in mind when someone helps me out.
Mathew Kelly, in his book Rhythm of Life, says “The people we surround ourselves with either raise or lower our standards. They either help us become a better version of ourselves or encourage us to become lesser versions of ourselves.”
He further goes on to say, “No man or woman becomes great on her own. The people around them help make them great. We all need people in our lives who raise our standards, remind us of our essential purpose, and challenge us to become the best version of ourselves.”
Kelly thinks that many of us become like our friends. So what is the moral of the story? If you want to get ahead in life, and be happy, choose your mates wisely.
Ask yourself – am I becoming a better or a worse version of myself?
If you have any inputs to this article, let me know your comments below.